From Baby to Bhabhi

Hello Peeps. I am back, this time from Namma Bengaluru!

Where was I? 

After a sabbatical of 6 months, I am here to ink my thoughts on your screen! During the past 6 months my life has taken a major drift, from my roka and wedding and subsequently moving to Bangalore. In short, transforming from "Baby to Bhabhi".

Why this post?

Well, this single post shall not be enough to describe the entire story of my being Happily Ever After!

You may call it a warm-up note to break the ice between me and my blogger account. You may also assume that I am puking my undigested thoughts after a break. Please bear with me this time :)

Where am I?

Bengaluru- the Silicon City as they say, is quite different from MY Indore. This place taught me a lot, may it be buying vegetables, surviving the bumper-to-bumper traffic, the entrancing Kannada, Telugu, Tamil, Oriya, Malyalam, aka the vivacious South Indian culture; their cryptic languages (with due respect); the palatable food and what not. I am lovin it!

Guess what? Bengaluru does not have cows (got to see only 3 cows on roads in the past 3+ months), stray dogs here only prefer non-vegetarian meals.

Moreover, I could barely see any old person here! Seriously, everyone here is young, none with salt-and-pepper-beard, only young folks everywhere. Ghosshhh! Don't people turn old here? The vast IT brigade has occupied the town.

About me-

I turned into a responsible young lady (sort of!) from a chirpy perky girly! Amusingly, I spend hours finding best deals on Dettol, Harpic, Vim bar, mop, non-stick cookware, moong dal, sugar, multi-grain aata, pillow covers, Patanjali Ghee, lemon and cauliflower on Amazon and Big Basket. This is a big twist in my life that came from marriage. And you must spare me a much deserved pat on my back for handling my maid who is Kannada from heart, soul and TONGUE!

What next?

In the last half year my life took a 360 degree turn by transforming me into the proud individual that I am now. Watch this space to know more of my myriad experiences.

(Disclaimer: This post does not intend to harm, defame, or hurt the sentiments of any person, gender, religion, political party, news channel, religious belief, god or to whomsoever it may concern. I sincerely apologize in advance if it is so.)

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Its My Right Too

Since past few days, every time I turn the TV on and fiddle with the news channels, I can easily spot at least one channel showing 6-8 thumbnail sized faces and one bigger thumbnail of the news reader / moderator of the debate. The debate regarding entry of women to the popular Shani Shingnapur temple's sacred sanctum.

First, the news channels are seeking pleasure in giving air to the fire of the thought provoking debate which at the end of the day has no conclusion. Do we have anyone authorized to present a verdict on this, and hence a never ending debate it is!

Second, if our country keeps fighting on the name of religion it would be difficult for us to excel. This is what US President Obama said once. Let alone cross-religion fights, this one is amidst people of the same religion. So you may call it same-religion-cross-gender dispute-with-no-respite.

Next, our country has bigger problems to deal with. If every community comes with one such problem, its enough to land us in the middle of nowhere and other countries enjoying our cat fight! Recently, THE GREAT actor (you-know-who), and most importantly the husband of celebrity, actor and member of Parliament (you-know-who), has come up with a BRAND NEW (atleast it seems to be brand new) fight for the rights of a CASTE from Kashmir. And alas! he has received the most coveted Padma award, even before the issue is resolved. It seems that he is evoking the rage of the countrymen for the sake of popularity and awards. How come he suddenly arose after all those 26 years of injustice to the community?

Coming back to the original topic, the right to worship. While an interesting debate was being telecasted, a WOMAN, yes a woman priest (acclaimed saadhvi) was protesting AGAINST women's right to worship because they menstruate. A bunch of men who were on the extempore with her were favoring women's right to worship. Aweful contradiction. Meanwhile, the moderator representing the new channel was worth appreciating. Let me paraphrase what he said- "I don't go to such temple where my daughters are not allowed. I don't believe in such a god whom my daughters can't worship." And he ended the debate by reading a sentence from a piece of paper, which was probably passed on to him from his channel's representative. It said- "जिसके गर्भ में नौ महीने रहे उसी को गर्भग्रह में नहीं जाने देते..."

Next, for the women who protested. Do they have any political intent? Are they paid to cause the havoc? Is there something we are unable to see here? Do the news channels themselves pay them to help creating such masala news? Are they really devoted to visit the temple? Is this the only temple left on the planet? Don't  you fear that Shani Bhagwan will be angry at you for causing this mess? Forget about Shani Bhagwan, don't you fear that the epitome of Hinduism, those self-acclaimed modern Dharm Gurus will spell curse on you? Don't you think the time, energy and money you are wasting to convince those who can never change, can be used for some noble cause which in turn will automatically impress the honorable deity? Are you real or mechanical? A real incidence that happened with me a few months back, while I was visiting a famous Hanuman temple in my vicinity during evening aarti. They were forcing all the woman to stay behind the barricades placed a few feet far from the diety. I, unknowingly tried to go past that region to worship the diety, and a man shouted- "ladies, stay away". I was speechless, could have protested, but didn't. I didn't visit the temple again.

Next, for the saints who are favoring the restriction. Can you tell who has made such weird rules against the fair gender? Was it The God himself, or The Society? If it was God who did this, I wonder why would he get impure by the touch of those whom he has created? Is there any scripture stating this? If God has made women and the fact that they menstruate is also bestowed by God, how could he himself be impure because of their entry to his so-called home. As per sanatan dharm, god is present in every particle (including every human). In that case, we are causing impurity to our own existence. Let us eradicate women in that case. If it was human who made the rule, then let me tell you, to err is human! समाज हम से है, हम समाज से नहीं | Moreover, some of you are trying to confuse people by saying that Shani dev is not a God and he is a Grah (planet).

Next, to the news channels. There are a lot more places of worship in the country who have similar restrictions, either on the attire to be worn, or the entry of a specific gender or specific race or religion. Why are you creating havoc and mocking the religion for ONE temple? What is your motto: to cause more protests, to solve the issue, to create a new rule, or to earn TRP? You must aim, not towards destruction of humanity, but towards encouraging constructive thoughts. What is it that you are diverting the public from, any news which may have been more relevant, but not masala?

Next, for the men who have come in support of the women. Well, thanks for showing that you value women and their rights. Never mind, but you are just a handful of people and your efforts are already going in vain.

Next, when everyone is coming up with their opinion, why not me. I say- पुरानी परम्पराये जाएँगी तभी तो नयी आएँगी।

Thanks to these inconclusive agendas, that after progressing two steps ahead, we pull ourselves one step back. In that case, we as a nation remain standing where we had started.

(Disclaimer: This post does not intend to harm, defame, or hurt the sentiments of any person, gender, religion, political party, news channel, religious belief, god or to whomsoever it may concern. I sincerely apologize in advance if it is so. I wrote this to present the whole picture from my perspective and to encourage constructive thought process for a better and progressive nation)

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Shallow Hal

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

I just closed VLC player after watching this Hollywood movie called Shallow Hal, and my hands ran on the keyboard to write about it this Sunday. I am hitting the Publish button now!

You may skip this paragraph, if you don't want a lengthy read. However, I insist you continue.

Shallow Hal is a humorous tale of a man called Hal who had fixation to physically attractive woman. Being an average looking guy himself, he didn't succeed in pursuing any lady for a date. When Hal was nine, his Dad's last words on death bed were, 'Son, never ever settle for less.' While Hal was struggling to search his lady, he stumbled upon a a famous life coach whom he was stuck with in an elevator. He motivated Hal about the worth of inner beauty, and not to strive solely for the exteriors. In order to help him overcome his disappointment and shallow-ness, the coach hypnotized him with a spell. Thereafter, every girl Hal came across looked thin, smart and beautiful to him. After a while, he started dating a girl- Rosemary, who apparently was his boss' daughter and was very fat. But due to the coach's trance, he found her extremely beautiful and lean. They fell in love. Later, his worried friend approached the coach and reverted the spell from Hal to prevent any jeopardy to either of the parties. It was now that he could see the "real", "unattractive" Rosemary. It was embarrassing for him initially, and he tried to avoid her. Gradually, he realized the worth of inner beauty, of the caring and affectionate Rosemary and reconciled with her. And then, there's the Happy Ending!

Moral of the story- Not all good things are beautiful, not all beautiful things are good. I know this is meager and has been read and told many times. The definition of real beauty is influenced by what television, magazines, movies and the society keep telling us for years. Why do we not look for beauty inside out? A beautiful face may not last forever, but a beautiful heart shall. On a similar note, I had written about the obsession for being thin and fair, about 2+ years back under the title- Fair is Lovely, Thin is Beautiful.

What appeals to the world's fancies is the exteriors. Agreed. Because as humans you have learnt to judge by what you see. Pragmatically, you tend to get attracted or distracted based on the same. For instance, paradoxically, we delude good looking people to be rude, proud or witty, whereas we assume the ill-favored ones lack confidence or are cunning. This is about first impression. But in the process of knowing someone, let alone your opinion of the physical appearances and look for the true person beneath.

Someone told me long back that when you grow old, your skin may be wrinkled, your hair shall turn white and your appearances may fade. All that lasts forever is the abstract you! Have no reason to be with someone, for if the reason diminishes the togetherness wanes.

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A Mirror- Tales of 2015

Shrug your shoulders and close the browser window right away if you are curious to read sad or happy TALES of my life's last year in this post. Read ahead, otherwise :)

Like every other year, 2015 was also bundled with ample of events, learning, peaks and valleys, success and failure, cheers and tears for me. I am listing down 12 of my take-aways, you may assume one per month. Although this does not have real examples or incidences stated along with, but trust me, every nook and cranny of this is entirely real to me.

1) Smile. Happiness is not a sin, sadness is not a virtue. Happiness comes at a cost and sadness comes for free. People in the world have enough problems to deal with. No one likes sad faces either. As my favorite quote from Dale Carnegie is- "It is so, it can't be otherwise." You do not own all the problems in the world.

2) Read as much as you can. Reading is to mind what exercise is to body. Reading a good book is like an entourage to another world that lies amidst the pages of the book. Fiction is a striking means to live all the characters that you couldn't have lived in this one life. I have detailed my thoughts on this in a post- Bibliobibuli yesterday.

3) Never get disheartened. When one door closes other opens, fall seven times stand up eight. You may not always get what you please, but keep going and wait for the magnum opus to come your way.

4) Music heals. Listen to your favorite music each day and soak yourself into the hymns and the lyrics of the symphony.

5) Exercise. You cannot take care of others if you do not take care of yourself. You cannot make others happy if you aren't happy. You cannot keep others healthy if you aren't in the pink of health. On the same verge, I strongly advocate that one must follow an exercise routine. Watch out the internet for various ways to stay fit- may it be an exercise regime, ergonomics at work, or certain foods to include in your regular diet.

6) Meditate. Spend some time in solitaire every day. Ponder over the day's activities. Meditation has powerful impact on the mind, body and soul as a respite from the stressful routines that we have.

7) Pray. Whatever religion you belong to, whatever be your ethnicity or faith, believe that there is someone who has a greater responsibility of you. And that One will always take care of you. Leave yourself in the God's hands and have faith that all that is happening to you is his will.

8) Accept what you cannot change. I know most people like me have the desire to procure the knowledge of what fate has in it's store for them. But let things happen as they are, go with the flow, for whatever has to happen will happen anyway. Do not attempt to fast forward life to see if your current situation or deeds are worth in the end.

9) Learn from other's mistakes. You do not live long enough to make all mistakes by yourself. Be a good observer, see people around you, talk to them, participate in discussions. You'll always get to learn something from someone or an incident. Be receptive.

10) Friend to all is a friend to none. Have some good buddies in your trunk of acquaintances. It's good to know many people and to be known by all, but keep a few aside whom you can confide in at anytime. The other day, I read a quote on twitter- "Dosto, hansne me to bahut saath nibhaaya tumne, aaj mera mann rone ka hai..." (Friends, you accompanied me well while I was merry, what if today I want to weep.)

11) When you are speaking, you are repeating what you already know. But when you are listening, you are learning something new. Hone your listening skills. Moreover, it is not always mandatory that you win every argument.

12) Use your anger wisely. It can do miracles. Anger impairs our judgement, and foresight. Get motivation from what makes you angry and drive it in the right direction.

I hope that 2016 dawns upon me and everyone in a happy, healthy and successful manner. Keep learning.

Happy New Year :)

I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.

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Bibliobibuli

Initially, I used to force myself upon books in order to be able to become a better writer. A renowned journalist once told me that to write well, you need to read more and more. In one of the recent talks that I attended of Chetan Bhagat, he gave the same answer to my question on advice for aspiring writers. Another author, Preeti Shenoy replied to the same question to me over twitter, with the same answer.

Reading a good book is like an entourage to another world that lies amidst the pages of the book. With this newly developed addiction, I have turned voracious now. Reading is wonderful. Exemplary. Ecstatic. Pious.

I do not defer with the majority's views who say it is investment wastage of time on reading. Contradictory to this my instincts say paradise would be some kind of library. I have never grown so mature in my entire life as I did in the last few years since I started reading. Then I was literate, now I am educated. One humorous quote on the web stated- Every time you watch a reality show, a book commits suicide.

 Also, as Richard Peck quotes- I read because, one life is not enough. For the same reasons, I read to live all the characters from different periods, places, moods, professions, ethnicity, religions, virtues, lifestyles- all of this I can't live in this one life. While reading, I live in a different body, at a different place, with different people. The more I read, the more I learn and eventually, the more I grow.

To me, books are -

1) Teachers, companions, magicians, an unabridged universe, and nonchalantly- a means to escape from reality.
2) The most loyal friends of mine- they never ditch, they never abandon me, never lie, enrich my very being, and accept me as I am.

For every mortal who hasn't yet realized this, I playfully say, it's better to have your nose in a book than in someone else's business!

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Uncle, Aunty aur Audience- The "Dilwale"

My definition of Dilwale- Udti hui saree aur lambi si gaadi, or lambi si saree aur udti hui gaadi... 

Let me end this post with some key notes on the movie-

Two 50 somethings dancing, bouncing and romancing on the screen.  Salt on scars (jale par namak) is Varun Dhawan's overacting sprinkled with terrible dialogues like- ab meri bhi shaadi hogi, mera bhi honeymoon hoga. What laurels are you bringing to your father's name!?  Garnished by Kriti Sanon's blundered extra-innocence, all she had to do was to look beautiful.

Ghosshhhh! pardon me SRK and Kajol fans, but this movie crossed the limit of my tolerance. I would repent forever at the moment I decided to watch Dilwale, just because I couldn't get tickets of Bajirao's next n number of shows!

Hum sharif kya hue puri duniya hi badmaash ho gayi- Every fifth contact of mine on Whatsapp had set this as status for a week or so, which apparently happens to be SRK's dialogue spoken at an unrelated point of time in the movie. 

Grandeur of sets, expensive vehicles, overpaid but under-utilized foreign locations, gaudy attires, mediocre plot, nonsensical dialogues, idiotic comedy, a-little-more-than-average music, overacting by every actor, Goa-but-almost-no-beaches- were the only flaws in the movie. Rest of it was hilarious (if anything is left)!

It felt to me like one day those people met over coffee and decided- chalo ek movie banate hai (come on, let's make a movie), and they ended up in this overrated crap. Selling the tickets at high prices and earning huge amount of money is not so astonishing phenomenon. Eventually, they call it a grand success on box office. Dear Rohit Shetty, do you even know they just released a rotten movie on your name...? You must be in coma by now upon knowing how they spoiled your repo...

Someone go and tell the not-so-old Aunty and Uncle (you-know-who), that they have now aged enough to play the roles of Mom-Dad and must quit romancing on the melodious numbers like Gerua. Paying hundreds of bucks and not even gaining a penny's worth of entertainment turned me furious. I wish I could paste a print out of this post outside every box office in my city and rescue the innocent audience from the torture beforehand.

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Birthday Special- 2015

I've heard someone recite- "बचपन में लोग पूछते थे - बड़े हो कर क्या बनना है... जवाब अब मिला- फिर से बच्चा बनना है |"

It's almost the end of the day, to be specific- my birthDAY and by the time I hit "Publish", it would be 19th December. It was a fun filled day, mainly owing to ample of wishes that kept pouring in since 12 midnight! I am ecstatic to have such wonderful folks (family, friends, relatives and colleagues) around.

Is your mind buzzing to ask how old did I turn today? Amusingly, my answer is-"an year younger than you..." :) Jokes apart, age is just a number! To temporarily transform my two digit age into a single digit age and to rejuvenate the spirit of childhood in people around me I offered toffees to my colleagues at work. To my surprise, it was received well, and all enjoyed relishing the flavors of the simplest childhood memories.

Later in the day, I was gyrating my thoughts to that period of time when -

our biggest troubles were a broken pencil or a lost eraser,
the harshest punishment we could give to each other was a katti,
we were not supposed to be well-behaved, well-dressed or well-versed,
we were free of the social taboos,
discipline only implied finger-on-your-mouth in the classroom,
butterflies brought sparkle to our eyes,
between day and night was an eminent sunset,
we never had to remind ourselves to keep-the-child-in-us-alive,
messy hair and dirty feet were absolutely fine,
'Chinese whispers' was nothing more but a non-toxic game,
piggy bank was the treasure,
I-am-gonna-tell-your-mom was the scariest sentence,
when moon-followed-our-car...,
ours was a selfless- selfie-less image,
technology didn't take over...

...and the list shall keep flooding.

We didn't realize we were building a pile of memories while we were growing up, and that we are still doing that.

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To Tweeples and Whatsapp-ians

Dear friends, friends of friends, and to whomsoever-it-is-concerned, you are likely to be fumed upon reading this post, but I don't mind telling what's on my mind. (Excuse me for the same)

The constant itch caused by a bunch of texts and tweets to me could only be healed by having my say on them. FYI, it ain't moral policing.

In the last few days, I had been observing that people puke anything and everything on social media. In other words, they blindly forward all they receive. How funny it was to read that don't watch the movies of Shahrukh and/ or Amir because they expressed their opinion on the intolerance topic? Guys, do you ever use your mind before forwarding mindless messages? I can't stop laughing at this. How many of those who forward all this, actually know what the root issue is all about?

If you are a Software Engineer like me, and you said something that offended me, then would I say that I will refrain from using the part of application that you have coded (in so-called protest)? Well, absolutely not, I would rather reprimand it the other way. If your Mom unwantedly adds some extra salt to your food one day, would you not eat any subsequent meal cooked by her? In the same way, acting is their business, and expressing opinion- an individual choice. A text message said, we have paid 4k crores to make their movies hit..... Astounded by what I read, I thought you didn't donate the money, it was in exchange of the entertainment that you sought. Ain't it? Negativity breeds negativity.

Flowing with the emotions or bluffing on look-I-am-so-conscious, we unabashedly forward it. On one hand you enjoy sending jokes / negative facts about the country, concluding how ill-fated you are to have been born here. On the other, you pretend to be aggressive on such issues, and be epitome of desh-bhakti. 
One such text stating ills of our country in a rather humorous way had a line- "is desh me pizza 30 minute me pahuch jaata hai magar ambulance nahi." I was awestrucked pondering what's the analogy between a pizza and an ambulance. If you are targeting the governance, then best to my understanding, pizza has nothing to do with the government except for taxes. I am not denying the fact, but the way it is shot to despise our country and government's public image. Neither do I understand where this content originates from and who is benifiting by fooling innocent message forwarders!

It is absolutely fine if you disagree on certain things, but remember: whatever you listen / read to is a perspective, not the truth.

Probably you too must have inferred by now that mass communication and media are the strongest means to form public opinion. How wonderfully does masscomm and media manipulate or highlight an entity / event/ person taking them to the zenith or drop them to their doom. They make for a massive machine to brainwash the human mind, or at the least make them think over and over. Ever wondered, where did the award waapsi and beef issues perish after the Bihar elections; why the Maggi-is-unsafe news popped and prevailed right on the time when Ramdev baba was to launch his own healthy-Maggi, and not in the last two decades; why is Indrani's husband Peter's arrest not as much on the news as it was for Indrani? It may be because now no one sees benefit by editing public opinion on these anymore.  Whenever there is big news in the media, look for the one they are trying to take you away from.

And, your job is to use a percent of the 3 pound organ that is present at the top of your body!

Simple as that?

And as, one of the forwarded text on my phone says-

सोच को बदलो सितारे बदल जाएंगे,

नज़र को बदलो नज़ारे बदल जाएंगे।

कश्तियां बदलने की ज़रूरत नहीं,

दिशाओं को बदलो किनारे बदल जाएंगे ।।
(Disclaimer: I am not paid to write this post. It is my personal view, and not intended to hurt/ defame/ derate any person, platform, nation, culture, political party, incidence or event. I do not mean to criticize or hurt either. Forgive me if it does.)

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Kyunki Har Desk Kuch Kehti Hai

Our workplace is where we spend more than one-third of our day, and so is our very own desk. Every desk in the office premise depicts the traits of personality of the one who sits there. Taking into account an IT guy's work desk, here's a humorous classification of the variety that you can spot around you-

1. The Family Guy 

"Where's the Daddy!? Here he is..." At this person's desk rests a photo frame from last holiday with his son, daughter and wife. The other side has a coffee mug, which would rather have adorned his kitchen sink. It has his daughter's fancy dress competition wining photo imprinted on it. The wallpaper of his desktop is a collage of his kids' cake smeared and first-day-at-school collages. One corner contains a heart shaped photo frame featuring him and his sweetheart wife from their honeymoon days.

This man is most likely in his mid thirties, dressed in office formals, treasures his pot belly. He comes to office in time and leaves on time. He sets his phone on flight mode right after he leaves the workplace, and over the weekends.

2. The Hyperactive Guy

This one has a desk with a home-like feeling. Unlike the family guy, he doesn't  display an array of family assets, but has his desk's interiors setup to make you feel you are in his living room. His cubical only lacks an attached washroom! 

He houses various show pieces including at the least- a soft toy, a clock, a bonsai and a calendar with 365 thoughts- one for each day of the year. He has umpteen office-activity-participation-certificates, printed inspirational thoughts and a couple of awards to flaunt at his desk. You never get bored when dropping by his ornate cubical. This is generally one of most active lads in the organization, the one who has a lot more to do than he's paid for, keeps fluttering here and there and has a cheerful attitude. 

He is normally aged 25-30. The backside of his chair has an inspirational thought printed on a paper, and the front side has a comfy pillow to soothe his supposedly aching back. The dustbin below his desk is fuller than full, so much so that the office boy demands hike in his salary to collect the empty bags of chips and the daily filth.

3. The Lazy Guy

This one is an icy man. He is looking forward to renovate his desk some time in future, but either he doesn't feel like doing so, or hasn't got the guts to do so, or is laden with tonnes of work, or is too simple to plan a happy-go-lucky cubical. 

To him his desk is no more than a piece of furniture to rest his arms at. No age group classifications for such folks. The coffee mug with their routine espresso occupies it's regular place on that empty piece of furniture. The neatly arranged desktop and mouse make you feel overwhelmed (neat means nothing at all, the office boy is glad to work for him, since he does not have any cleaning work to do for this desk). The less active guy, staring from morning to evening at his desktop screen from his spectacles, who leaves for lunch at sharp 1:00 PM no matter what- famine or earthquake. Lunch time chatter includes poor condition of roads, criticism of the government and his effective ways of saving taxes.

4. The Gadget Geek 

This guy's desk features latest model of headphones standing aptly on a stand. His is the latest smartphone, probably an iphone adorned with a superhero wallpaper. The bottom of his desk has a pile of boxes or left over packaging from his recent online-shopping-adventure deliveries. You may spot this person spending most of his time shopping or window-shopping online. He generally happens to be a recent campus hire who earns more than he can spend with both hands.

5. The Religious Guy

When did you visit the temple lately? Never mind, you can easily spot one such desk around you at office where you feel like the only item absent for it to be called as a temple is the temple-vala-shoe-stand. This guy has idols of various gods at his desk, sits in the direction recommended by Vaastu teller, wears ring of almost every planet in his fingers and fasts frequently. He is the bhagwaan-bharose guy, who invests much time flattering god than his manager!

From the aforementioned breeds, which one do you belong to? :)

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A little less ME

In our personal or professional lives, almost all of us have this excessive need to be 'me'. We are self obsessed and cling to satisfying the "me" in ourselves. The consequences are not positive oftentimes.

We keep repeating such clauses either verbally, or in a constant internal monologue- "I do this", " I dislike this", "...this is not my cup of tea", "...how dare thy say that about me", "...because I ain't ever mistaken, I won't apologize." , "Hey, that's me. Deal with it." and so on. We surround ourselves with a wall of our rules, our superiority, our appreciation, our opinion, our definition of good or bad around us. Setting a definition for ourselves and devoting our senses to keep up to that by resisting anything that comes in the way, is indeed harmful.

Once in a while, give it a thought that if you keep aside the pointless notion of ME, you'd certainly open new gates for yourself and lead to a long term change in your behavior. Moreover, you'll make people feel better about you.

As Marshall Goldsmith quotes in his book What Got You Here Won't Get You There, "It's an interesting equation: Less me. More them. Equals success." And "It's not about you. It's about what other people think of you."

The mantra is- "laugh at your yourself; apologize frequently; show gratitude whenever possible and learn from each person you meet."

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Hathon Me Aa Gaya Rumaal Aapka-to-Saree ke Fall Saa

Interesting though, I have titled this post to make a note of the apparent transition that music has seen with time, and how it occurs to me. The lyrical journey of Hindi songs - from Hindi to Hinglish and Funjabi; the experimental musical journey varying from generating sound using glasses of water to the use of electronic musical instruments or sometimes, none.

Hands down, I love them all, I am a music freak. Every genre is my taste... The heart-touching melodies, the night mood gazals, the energetic raps, the powerful and inspiring sankrit chants, the mesmerizing sufi kawwalis, acoustic revisit of the old songs, the pop filmy numbers or the peppy rap tracks...... While I am typing this, I am actually listening to one such absolutely cool number from this rainbow of genres! In thirst of unconventional music I recently ended up in finding some wonderful videos (precisely, audios as movies) like meditation music, healing om chanting, lively religious hymns, assorted playlists from the 90s, and also acoustic versions of various songs, some of which compete the original ones well!

Let me define a song in my words- a poetic placement of words woven beautifully, with the perfect harmony of  musical instruments and melodious human voice or a hybrid of such voices. A therapy to touch the listener's heart and soul, it gives wings to the mind, and flight to the imagination.

I wonder how beautifully they do the task of composing the lyrics.. what risk must be involved in composing and trying unconventional lyrics or the kind of beats no other song has ever had? How would they judge, this is it- the right sound, the distinct lyrics and a perfect voice? How tedious it must be to choose a singer appropriate to give life to a song? Are the singers nervous before each recording?

I am blessed to be born in the era when such exhilarating music is being hatched and available without a hitch, over the web. There is a song for every situation. We can connect so flawlessly to the lyrical tunes in every mood! Some or the other song is the tell-tale of one of our life incidences.

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If You Could Choose Your Name

They say, "naam mein kya rakha hai? (What's in one's name?)" Well, why not? You have to survive with the same name for the rest of your life since your naamkaran sanskaar!

Here's a mischievous-me exploring the humor behind Indian names (with no intentions against anyone or any community).

I listed out some interesting categories of names which I feel Indian nomenclature is divided into. This also includes examples of names of real people I know (again, no offenses intended). What's your brand?

1) The Common Name

These are the most common Indian names like Neha, Rahul, Pooja, Aditi, Ankit etc. I believe everyone has atleast one friend, colleague or cousin with this name. Every class in school has 3-4 students with these names and they are amusingly baptized as Aditi1, Aditi2, Aditi3..... Aditi infinity! 'Does this not make you feel like triplets or quadraplets? Look one more Aditi joined us this year.'

2) The Lengthy Name

Some people are unhappy with why their guardians had the urge to name them like its the whole town's name: all-in-one. But these brave people request to be called by abbreviations like JP for Jyoti Prakash, PK's Jaggu AKA Jagat Janani, or KK as in Krishna Kumar. 'Code word is the key, dude.'

3) The Gender Independent Name

If you are named as Ruby, Palak, Divya, Manpreet, Jaspreet etc, you are often mistaken by the class teacher as being of the opposite gender until they have your sight, following which, both of you have the awkward eye contact and rest of the planet secretly giggling. 'Forgive me dear, may god bless you!'

4) The Forgettable Name

So, some parents enter the warfield when it comes to deciding their young one's name. They scratch every dictionary and visit every available website to end up sorting for you a wonderful Sanskrit-ised or Shuddh Hindi name. That's nice and unique of course. But what if people tend to forget your name in the first few meetings. 'Ummmm... what did you tell your name is? (naam kya bataaya tha apna)'

5) The Real Nick Name

You got it right, this is height of laziness. They used to call you Pinky or Sonu or Sweety or Rocky as a child and then forgot that there has to be a REAL real name for their offspring. But its to late till then, and now you are known to the planet with your pet name. 'Really, is that your NAME?'

6) The Tongue Twister Name

People down the south of India have their names which requires more than normal number of blocks in the bank application form like the respectable Indian athelete Pilavullakandi Thekkeparambil Usha , guess who?

Forgive me, but as a north Indian I can't even pronounce these names in one go, forget about spelling it. The components of your name comprise of various subsections. 'Lets fetch a cup of coffee till I finish learning your name.'

7) The Middle Name

You suffer from the middle-name-puzzle. You have a middle name which people either tend to forget mentioning, or confuse that as your last name (surname). Whole life you are perplexed whether or not to include the section #2. 'Added advantage, you have 3 components in your name to facilitate people with multiple ways to address you.'

8) The Misspelled Name

You have a short and simple name. But thanks to the unscientific and phonetically poor agrezi bhasha, every one spells your name their way. Is your name ambiguous like Akash or Aakash, Sourabh or Saurabh, Rajeev or Rajiv, Pooja or Puja, Aakriti or Aakrati or Aakruti? 'Hey, that's my name, not a spelling tutorial.'

9) The Motion Picture Inspired Name

 Do I need to detail out the pursuit of unique name which leads guardians to name their kids based on their favorite TV serial character or a trending movie star? Some examples are- Khushi, Pari, Hrithik, Aryan, Siya. 'Angelic, ugh!.'

10) The Simple Name

Wrapped up in 5-6 English letters, not too common, nor difficult to read and write- that's what I call as a simple name. But each has a story of its own and may fall into any of the above categories conditionally! 'I have such a name.'

Sigh! Here comes an end to my list. What do you think your name would have been if you were given a chance to settle upon one for yourself?

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Sachchi Advice

“I am participating in the #SachchiAdvice Contest by MaxLife in Association with BlogAdda.”

My father often advised this while I was growing up- "kaabiliyat dusro ko neecha dikhaane me nahin, balki khud itna uncha mukaam haasil karne mein hai ki pratidwandhi swayam neeche ho jaaye."  (काबिलियत दूसरों को नीचा दिखाने में नहीं, बल्कि ख़ुद इतना ऊँचा मुकाम हासिल करने में है के प्रतिद्वंदी स्वयं नीचे हो जाएँ| )

The way I perceived and implemented this was-

Never measure your achievements by someone else's success or failures.

Never resist people's nasty opinions, and their intents to let you down. Simply work towards your goal. At various milestones in life, people criticize or misguide you for their own good. Pan India, people have the yearning to pave your path even though it may be impracticable for themselves. It is rightly said- "where there is a will there are a hundred relatives". 

Some people will always try to let you down, others may however, inspire you for good. Whatever may be the case, grasp the positive out of every viewpoint and you shall touch the zenith. Never turn back in life, never get pulled down by those who discourage you. Never try to get even with people who bar your growth. Also, never be envious or scared of someone else's growth or success, it won't be a hurdle on your path to success. Neither must we belittle others. Strive to improve yourself and always compare you with yourself, and no one else. This will lead to self growth.

I followed the same advice so far, and whether it is education, profession or my passion, I groom myself and elevate my competencies to the extent that I tend to achieve what I desire, or at the least walk a mile further towards my goal. 

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हिन्दी की कलम से

नमस्कार | मैं हिन्दी हूँ | क्या आपको स्मरण है मैं आपकी राज भाषा हूँ ? कदाचित यह स्मरण ना हो तो विचार कीजिये, आप विद्यालय में एक विषय के रुप में मेरा अध्ययन किया करते थे|  हाँ! मैं वही हिन्दी हूँ |

आज मेरा जन्मदिन मनाया जाता है| हालाँकि मेरा जन्म सदियों पहले आप ही के देश में हुआ था, आज तो औपचारिक जन्मदिन है | देश से याद आया, आपको मेरी याद तब जरूर आती होगी जब आप विदेश जाते हैं| वहाँ अनेक विदेशी भाषी लोगो के बीच जब एक भी हिन्दी भाषी मिले तो बड़ा सुकून मिलता होगा ना  |  वहां मेरी सहेली अंग्रेज़ी रहती है, जिसे आजकल सभी बहुत पसंद करते हैं | मैं तो केवल शासकीय पृष्ठों तक ही सीमित रह गयी हूँ | मेरी सहेली अंग्रेज़ी सभी के मन को भाने लगी है | चाहे टूटी फूटी ही सही, किन्तु हर कोई उसे बोलने में गर्व का अनुभव करने लगा है, और मुझ पर शर्म या हँसी आती है | 

आजकल मुझ पर राजनीति भी की जा रही है | कहते हैं मुझे विश्व भाषा बनाएँगे | यह ज्ञात हुआ तो मैं अत्यन्त हर्षित हो उठी |

कभी कभी तो आप मुझे अन्य बोलियों एवं भाषाओं के साथ मिश्रित कर के बोलते है और स्वयं को भी ज्ञात नहीं होता | काव्य और मधुर गीत कि रचना आजकल कम ही होती है | मेरे संग उर्दू, फ़ारसी, अंग्रेज़ी, यहाँ तक कि प्रांतिय भाषाओं को भी मिला कर नए गीत अवश्य बनाये जाते हैं | किन्तु मैं उफ् तक नहीं करती | 

वैसे तो आप भी कहां ग़लत है | आजकल कौन ट्रेन को लौहपथगामिनी कहता है, कौन बाथरूम को शौचालय कह कर हँसी का पात्र बनता है | क्यूँ ना विचारों के आदान प्रदान के स्थान पर हम "बस चैटिंग" ही कर ले | इसके लिए तो "अच्छा", "ठीक है", "चलेगा" जैसे शब्द ही ठीक है| वैसे भी बंदर क्या जाने अदरक का स्वाद |

मेरा एक तुच्छ निवेदन है, प्राथमिकता आप प्राय: अभिव्यक्ति के उचित माध्यम को ही दें, किन्तु यथा संभव मुझसे मित्रता बनाये रखें तो मेरा भी सम्मान बना रहेगा | हो सके तो अगले वर्ष भेंट होगी, अब मैं चलती हूँ |
Click here to read a similar post- What !? You Don't Know Hindi 

(Disclaimer: This post does not intend to harm, defame, or hurt the sentiments of any person, gender, religion, political party, news channel, religious belief, god or to whomsoever it may concern. I sincerely apologize in advance if it is so.)

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Amity

 “I’m blogging for the India Today Woman Summit 2015 #WomenPower activity at BlogAdda.” The topic is-  "Do women want to be treated specially or equally? – Do men know the difference?"

When a male colleague pulls / vacates his chair for me; when they choose to hold the door open for me, it is indeed tough to perceive that in an era where women are at par to the men, do we really need such favors? Well, its no more about stereotypes, neither an entire denial to the chauvinist bits. It doesn't imply even that the fairer sex is less mightier. Its simply because the former feels like doing it. 

For woman, of whatever century they are, it feels good to be respected and pampered whereas men will always require to be adored and cared for, even for little things. This has to happen naturally and beautifully. 

That is it, women do not need equality, because the universal fact is -men are men, and women are women! Stating and stressing repeatedly on the fact that women want equality, itself means that women are inferior. Moreover, allocating reservations on the grounds of gender is a vice, which again implies and makes both genders feel that women are deficient. Does the term "woman empowerment" itself not mean women are powerless!?

A proud parent in India says, "tum meri beti nahin beta ho" . Well, why not they say, "tum mera beta nahin beti ho"? It is not about equality, but perspectives that make the difference. Both the genders have got their duties and rights in the society.

Per me, it is equity that has to prevail, rather than equality.

Patriarchal system has been dominating the Indian society since ages, but women are now breaking the shackles by joining the male brigade in varied areas. This gives them additional power as well as responsibilities of carrying with them the womanhood as well as meeting the benchmarks of the newly defined roles. Posing them as equal, renders a pressure on them. They are playing tougher roles than men do today, implying the need of special treatment to an extent.

For a moment, let us consider not to treat women as equal to men, but vice-a-versa. Let us treat men as equal to women. If men are treated as equal to their counterparts, it would be an ardent task for them to suffice all the expectations that are from a woman, including the default homely duties, giving birth, bringing up children, household chores and what not. Adding to this the professional roles they play, turns it more difficult for men.

The answer to whether men understand the difference between equality and special treatment is abstract. Although, this measure entirely differs with the strata of society that is taken into consideration, plus other factors like education, financial status, social status, profession, understanding, and most importantly, the journey from being an infant to a man. Growing up as a good human plays a vital role here. 

Understanding this, is not as important as implementing it is! Neither the almighty, nor the society has made the two genders equal; the gist is to gracefully accept the differences.


And I won it :) 
http://blog.blogadda.com/2015/09/18/winner-announcement-womanpower

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स्वतंत्रता-इस वर्ष

आज स्वतंत्रता दिवस के इस शुभ अवसर पर हार्दिक शुभकामनाएँ | मेरे पास कहने को कोई आदर्शवादी सन्दर्भ नहीँ है| इस लेख में मैं उत्कृष्ट कर्तव्यों कि शृंखला नहीँ लगाऊँगी | वो सब तो आप सब कहीं ना कहीं पढ़ या सुन ही लेते होंगे, जैसे कि मेरा भारत महान है, हमें गर्व होना चाहिए कि हम इस देश के नागरिक है, शहीदों कि कुर्बानी को सलाम, और ना जाने क्या क्या | मेरे अनुसार ये स्वतंत्रता कि परिभाषा नही है| 

आज के दिन सहसा ही हमारे भीतर देश भक्ति से पूर्ण विचारों का प्रवाह होने लगता हैं| किंतु क्या कभी हमने स्व्यं के भीतर टटोला है कि  हम इस दिन के पश्चात् आने वाले 364 दिवस क्यूँ अपने देश कि आलोचना में व्यतीत करते हैं ? हम सब अवगत हैं के अपने व्यस्त जीवन शैली से समय निकाल कर देश के प्रति समर्पित करना असाधारण ही होगा, और वास्तविकता में संभव नहीँ है | 

तो फिर क्या किया जाए ! कदाचित हम अपने देश कि दुसरे विकसित राष्ट्रों से तुलना करने के स्थान पर ये जानने का प्रयास करें के वहां ऐसा क्या हैं जो यहां नही, और इसे बेहतर बनाने के लिए हम क्या योगदान दे सकते हैं | हमारे पास तो अतिरिक्त रूप से हमारे संस्कारों का उत्तम भंडार हैं, जो कि केवल हमारे देश में ही है | उनकी संस्कृति में कितनी व्यधिया हैं जिसकी तुलना में हम एक बेहतर राष्ट्र हैं |

मुझे यह ज्ञात हैं कि आपको ज्ञात है कि आपको क्या करना चाहिए | ये सब बहुत ही छोटी सी बातें हैं जिनसे आप अवगत होंगे|

आदतन हम रास्ते पर कूड़ा बड़ी आसानी से फेंक देते हैं, और फिर गंदी सड़क के लिए प्रशासन को उत्तरदायी ठहराते है| हम धर्म के अन्धे प्रभाव में पड़ कर ना जाने अपने धार्मिक स्थलों पर कितना दान करते हैं, जब कि जरूरतमंद कोई अनाथ या भूखा व्यक्ति होता हैं | राह पर चल रहे स्वस्थ भिखारी को प्राय: स्व्यं कमाने के प्रोत्साहन कि बजाय पुण्य कमाने के प्रयोजन से सहायता दे देते हैं | सार्वजनिक स्थल पर किसी स्त्री के साथ हो रहे अपराध को मूक दर्शक बन कर निहारते है|  सड़क पर कोई हादसा या रंजिश हो रही हो तो मदद करने के स्थान पर अपने मोबाइल में तसवीरें कैद करने लगते हैं | रिश्वत स्वयं देते है और सरकार को भ्रष्ट होने का दोष देते हैं | यदि आप स्त्री हैं, चाहे बालिका, युवा या एक विवाहित नारी, हमारे साथ हो रहे अत्याचार या किसी अनुचित घटना को हम अपनी नियती मान कर सहन कर लेती हैं| हर समय आवाज़ उठाना ही आवश्यक नहीँ हैं, किन्तु स्मरण रहे- अत्याचार करने वाला तो अपराधी होता ही हैं, उसको सहन करने वाला उससे भी बड़ा अपराधी होता है | 

इस सब के बाद हम कहते हैं इस देश का कुछ नही हो सकता | निश्चित ही कुछ नही हो सकता यदि हम इन जैसे तथ्यों पर विचार ना करे, तो सच में नहीं हो सकता | जिन देशों से हम बराबरी कर के इस देश कि आलोचना करते हैं उन्हें स्वतंत्र हुए हमसे अधिक समय हो चुका हैं, इसलिए सब्र रखें और अपना कर्तव्य पूरा करें | और ये सब ना हो पाये तो सरकार या देश को नहीँ, स्वयं को दोष दें |

|| जय हिंद ||

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Movie Combo - Jurassic World, Baahubali, Bajrangi Bhaijaan

3 weekends.... 3 movies to die for....

Jurrasic World

For this chapter of the Jurassic series they wondered what to do, what to do. How about creating a whole new, super-scary species of dinosaur, containing DNA strands of dozens of creatures? When they hand you the 3-D glasses, check your brain at the door and pick it back on your way out.

Every moment takes your breath away and compels you to hold the seat tighter, as if you are the next munching for those grand artificially born dinosaurs (I'm unable to spell the clumsy names of the species), who they shall help themselves with! There's a lot of chasing and numerous last minute escapes from the treacherous dinosaurs by the lead actors on the screen. Amusingly, just one set of attires was worn by the cast throughout the plot!

Run faster...

Baahubali

The next in queue was the Telugu blockbuster, dubbed in Hindi for the rest of us. Keep aside the laws of physics, and soak yourself into the exemplary scenic creations of the magnificent Maahishmati kingdom, which existed supposedly ages back. 

With average dialogues and predictable historical fiction story- a clan struggling to crown their subsequent heir, and a lost son brought up by another mother who gives a powerful but ignorant come-back to rescue the kingdom and his mother of the prevailing evil, every glimpse of this costliest motion picture of the Indian history forces you to plunge not into "What next?", but "How next?". They have executed it so well, with the excellent actors of the century and the majestic shooting setups.

Jai Maahishmati

Bajrangi Bhaijaan.

Fans of Salman Khan had been awaiting this one since long. This is one of the best movies of Salman. I wonder, as and as he's getting older, he's been working hard and acting better than ever. It's always harmless to watch Salman Khan's movie- even if it is not good, you'll gain some of the hundreds of bucks out of the huge investment made to the ticket. Moreover, his are always clean and family-kinda movies! 

The story is one liner- "A noble devotee of Lord Hanuman is set to put his life at stake to help a mute Pakistani child get back to her home." For sure, none of the viewers was left with a dry eye and at the same time chuckles from time to time, by the end of film. And of course, the little girl succeeded in stealing hearts.

Jai Shree Ram

Well, indeed the three are poles apart in every aspect. But each of them deserve their share of Taaliyan aur Seetiyaan!

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Who are you?

I often see people alluding during social gatherings- 'What do you do?' Is it what we do for our living that defines and explains us. For some reason, we categorize and rank people by what they do, rather than what they are!

Your entire life journey including your upbringing, challenges, your hard learned lessons, your experiences, achievements and gifts, are all a series of footprints that have brought you to this very moment in time as you read these words.

Every single person we come across daily has a life story- a story which is unique but true. Your best friend has a story, your boss has his story, your maid has her own story, the hawker on the street has his story, the old lady in the garden has a story, the girl wiping her tears in the bus has her story, the young boy playing on the street has a story of his own. In that way there are 7 Billion Stories in the World.

People come in your life for a reason, some for short time and some for ever. Their stories and yours get inter woven when we come across. When you gleam into their lives, you will find a story like none another. Connecting to these can help us build amazing bonds called human relations!

I'd love to genuinely ask you these questions when we stumble upon-

1. Who are you?
2. What is your story?
3. What is it that makes you smile?
4. What do you dream of?
5. And if you do not mind answering this one: who are you when no one's watching?

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18 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 18

1. Read books voraciously, dive into them. We lose ourselves in good books, we find ourselves there too.
2. Don’t be worried of what others think about you. Shoo away the fears and influence of peers. Run your own race.
3. Dare to speak up. It’s either now or never. It’s not how much you speak, but how thoughtful you are.
4. Opt for a career that not only suits you but also satisfies you. Visualize the future you. Set a goal for yourself now, or you shall have to accept whatever comes your way.
5. Sit alone in silence for at least 10 minutes every day. You may be surprised to find what miracles loneliness brings.
6. Start practicing yoga. It will aid to your spiritual, mental and physical well being.
7. Ask the experienced rather than the experts. The latter keep guiding you to nowhere.
8. Do not live to impress others, but for the sake of your own contentment. 
9. Respect everyone, maintain your temper. Use your anger wisely; it can do miracles if guided in the right direction.
10. Be a good listener. Understand people, and learn from each one who comes across. Be a keen observer. Every day comes with myriad experiences.
11. You are born in the age of internet. Use it constructively; it is an ocean of knowledge. "Likes and Comments" will end you up in a shitty gutter.
12. Commit yourself to make mistakes. If you never do it, you'll never be sure how it turns up. Moreover, whatever has to happen will happen regardless. Don't be scared of taking chances.
13. Ask a lot of questions. It doesn't harm anyway. Apart from other obvious reasons, it is a good exercise for your brain!
14. Being innocent is good, but only until they don’t mistake you for a fool. Begin to grow up; everyone else has.
15. Never be upset with what others have and that you don’t. Make peace with what you have been bestowed with. Be patient, plenty of greener pastures await you.
16. First learn what everyone else does, and then learn what no one else knows. There are 2 rules to success- 1) Never reveal to them everything you know. 2) Remember rule #1.
17. The news reader is your friend; rest of the idiot box is your enemy.
18. Accept and embrace change.

And above all, laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.

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Its The International Yoga Day

(This post is just a perspective over the current affairs of the country. It does not intend to harm or defame any person, religion, government or political party. I welcome and thank our government for the initiative to celebrate the International Yoga Day) 

Yoga, as they say is a part of the Indian heritage and culture, aids in spiritual, mental and physical well being. Before I write further, let me tell you that I myself practice yoga and attribute a lot of my good health to it. And, I am not a cornered critic of the government.

This Sunday morning, at Rajpath, New Delhi, as they say nearly 40k people piled up to perform yoga (by choice or otherwise), with our honorable PM ji. Does it sound like a coincidence when, on Doordarshan you hear the anchor's ending note - "21 exercises on 21st June for 40 minutes by 40 thousand people" ? Of course, it doesn't take a Vedic-era rocket scientist to understand that this day never had that much to do with yoga, but more of an attempt to get recorded into the Guinness Book. And I do not interpret how much amount they would have stolen from the tax payee's pocket to bear expenses of the Tee's and amenities for each of the participant at Rajpath.

Another disappointment comes from the thought- "Do only people of Delhi need to nurture their health?" To balance this, the news channels reported that the party's various leaders were canvassing, oops..... performing yoga with the crowds at several places across the country! Does it also dilute the Surya Namaskar controversy anyway?

But it makes me wonder why the government chose this one single day to celebrate the treasure of our ancestral art. After all, its not a festival to be celebrated, but a legacy to be carried along by practicing regularly with full devotion.

Its hard to imagine one dedicated day for launching a regular yoga drive. Just like no Valentine's day makes couples ignore each other's nose hair and fall deeper in love. Remember, they also rechristened 25th of December as Good Governance Day.

Why not propose to celebrate a few more such "days" in India and across the world, namely- International "no rape" day, International "don't poke your nose" day, International "dharna" day! I am sure I need not provide description to how each of these must be celebrated!

My verdict- A optimistic welcome this initiative. Hope it reaches one and all, across the world and brings applaud to our culture by providing good health to all.

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