Thursday, 8 October 2015

If You Could Choose Your Name


They say, "naam mein kya rakha hai? (What's in one's name?)" Well, why not? You have to survive with the same name for the rest of your life since your naamkaran sanskaar!

Here's a mischievous-me exploring the humor behind Indian names (with no intentions against anyone or any community).

I listed out some interesting categories of names which I feel Indian nomenclature is divided into. This also includes examples of names of real people I know (again, no offenses intended). What's your brand?

1) The Common Name
These are the most common Indian names like Neha, Rahul, Pooja, Aditi, Ankit etc. I believe everyone has atleast one friend, colleague or cousin with this name. Every class in school has 3-4 students with these names and they are amusingly baptized as Aditi1, Aditi2, Aditi3..... Aditi infinity! 'Does this not make you feel like triplets or quadraplets? Look one more Aditi joined us this year.'

2) The Lengthy Name
Some people are unhappy with why their guardians had the urge to name them like its the whole town's name: all-in-one. But these brave people request to be called by abbreviations like JP for Jyoti Prakash, PK's Jaggu AKA Jagat Janani, or KK as in Krishna Kumar. 'Code word is the key, dude.'

3) The Gender Independent Name
If you are named as Ruby, Palak, Divya, Manpreet, Jaspreet etc, you are often mistaken by the class teacher as being of the opposite gender until they have your sight, following which, both of you have the awkward eye contact and rest of the planet secretly giggling. 'Forgive me dear, may god bless you!'

4) The Forgettable Name
So, some parents enter the warfield when it comes to deciding their young one's name. They scratch every dictionary and visit every available website to end up sorting for you a wonderful Sanskrit-ised or Shuddh Hindi name. That's nice and unique of course. But what if people tend to forget your name in the first few meetings. 'Ummmm... what did you tell your name is? (naam kya bataaya tha apna)'

5) The Real Nick Name
You got it right, this is height of laziness. They used to call you Pinky or Sonu or Sweety or Rocky as a child and then forgot that there has to be a REAL real name for their offspring. But its to late till then, and now you are known to the planet with your pet name. 'Really, is that your NAME?'

6) The Tongue Twister Name
People down the south of India have their names which requires more than normal number of blocks in the bank application form like the respectable Indian athelete Pilavullakandi Thekkeparambil Usha , guess who?

Forgive me, but as a north Indian I can't even pronounce these names in one go, forget about spelling it. The components of your name comprise of various subsections. 'Lets fetch a cup of coffee till I finish learning your name.'

7) The Middle Name
You suffer from the middle-name-puzzle. You have a middle name which people either tend to forget mentioning, or confuse that as your last name (surname). Whole life you are perplexed whether or not to include the section #2. 'Added advantage, you have 3 components in your name to facilitate people with multiple ways to address you.'

8) The Misspelled Name
You have a short and simple name. But thanks to the unscientific and phonetically poor agrezi bhasha, every one spells your name their way. Is your name ambiguous like Akash or Aakash, Sourabh or Saurabh, Rajeev or Rajiv, Pooja or Puja, Aakriti or Aakrati or Aakruti? 'Hey, that's my name, not a spelling tutorial.'

9) The Motion Picture Inspired Name
 Do I need to detail out the pursuit of unique name which leads guardians to name their kids based on their favorite TV serial character or a trending movie star? Some examples are- Khushi, Pari, Hrithik, Aryan, Siya. 'Angelic, ugh!.'

10) The Simple Name
Wrapped up in 5-6 English letters, not too common, nor difficult to read and write- that's what I call as a simple name. But each has a story of its own and may fall into any of the above categories conditionally! 'I have such a name.'

Sigh! Here comes an end to my list. What do you think your name would have been if you were given a chance to settle upon one for yourself?

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