Too Blessed to Be Perplexed

Life is too short and too magical to be unhappy. Whether you are a stay at home mom, an office going mom, or stepping into both their shoes while working from home.

Being a stay at home mother, during my maternity leave days was hard, gave me constant learning about how the joys and challenges of motherhood go hand in hand. I used to long to return to work, get some me-time en route, listen to cool music and later enjoy an uninterrupted cup of coffee. At the same time, upon returning to work, those days which demanded more work and had tough deadlines, I was determined to escape and nurse my child, mechanically living the hush hush routine. Now, trying to work from home during these pandemic times is, indeed, harder. My head spins and I feel like loosing my sanity. Working in 25-minute shifts leaves you with a jittery feeling and a gives sense that you are failing both. It fills you with guilt to the brim, the guilt of not attending to either of them enough, and the guilt of entirely forgetting yourself. At the same time, it fills you with joy to be able to see your child growing in front of you and not missing on his activities, to be able to feed him by yourself and him not being stuffed by any of his daycare center's caregivers. Also, no worry to rush home from work is a bliss.

Now that I have done all the three, I know each of these has its own challenges and delights.

This juggling goes on in a parent's life and leaves you puzzled. Nevertheless, every phase of your child's growth makes you feel that he is as dependent on you as much as he is free. Just as every child is different, every mother also is. No one can teach you how to mother your child, you learn from experiences, and your motherhood, rather, your parenthood grows along with the child. Nothing persists, whatever you are doing and however you are doing, be proud of yourself.

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Lessons I Learnt From My Toddler

My toddler is 17 months and 9 days old as of today. His newly discovered skill of walking all by himself is undoubtedly his reason to rejoice. His excitement for life and every object and creature that he sees is noteworthy.

One fine evening when we took him for a walk, he startled us by chasing a stray dog to the extent of scaring it and finally making sure that the dog disappeared. The walk doubled up for us as jogging.

Unaware of the laws of the universe, he doesn't know that he is supposed to be scared of dogs and not be otherwise, and that they may bite or run after him.

The irrationality the kids have at this age drives parents to the brink of sanity, along with their constant fits and tantrums. But at the same time, their simple actions and perceptions make us learn big life lessons like these...


1. Express yourself. Scream when you want, weep if you feel like. Don't hold back your tears. If it does nothing, atleast it is good for your lungs.
2. Sleep when you are tired, and not when you ought to. Sleep as many times a day as you want, and wake up all perked up.
3. Eat if and when you are hungry, and eat only to satiate your hunger and not to empty your plate.
4. Live life in the moment, don't die planning your future.
5. Learn something new each day, and be excited about what you learn. Be curious about your surroundings.
6. Be contended in yourself and love all those you want. You can't make 6 billion people on the earth happy at the same time.  
7. When you don't get what you want, cry for it, fight for it or in the end, leave it.
8. Celebrate yourself, expect others to join in.
9. When you hear no, make it a yes.
10. Don't care about what others think of you. Let yourself be their problem, not yours! Like I say, tension lene ka nahi, dene ka
11. Take risks, be adventurous and never be anxious.
12. Have faith. Faith that everything will be okay, and faith in those who love you.
13. Don't hold grudges, forgive quickly and move on. Negative emotions must be drained. If you don't like something, move. You are not a tree.
14. Given a choice, choose to be happy. Toddlers find happiness in things as simple as a cardboard box, a spoon or a flying paper.
15. Don't complicate life. Accept that you won't get it, unless you ask for it.

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Overloaded Pandemic

"Sharing is caring, sharing is fun. We can all share together..." These are a few lines from one of the nursery rhymes which my toddler keenly watches these days on YouTube. For kids, it simply implies sharing personal belongings or meals. For adults, we can infer sharing work!

In our society, a husband doing household chores means "helping" the wife. On the contrary, wife doing them signifies it as her duty, a thankless job, that came along with the package of the feras of her marriage. A working husband is someone who earns the bread and butter for the family since ages. A working wife, with all certainty is passing her time. We stay in a society where people frown at the mention of a lady not being able to cook, chuckle on hearing if a man does. They generously use the word "lucky wife" on hearing if the husband prepares evening tea for the exhausted wife. In the same society a child is the Raja beta or Papa's Pari, who is allowed to reject home-cooked food, or bargains eating against extra 30 minutes on iPad. The child learns what he/she sees, of course!

Despite of all this, the societal norms are mutating and a faithful balance is being developed slowly but eventually. The newer generations are westernizing and accepting that the burden of household chores are to be bore by the household, and not the house-lady. Exclaiming at a particular gender's participation in the process is subsiding.

Like many, we are navigating uncharted waters: e-learning and working remotely from home; social distancing is taking away everything. Being together is a huge advantage we have as families right now, but we might be too close to it to see it as a gift. It is a real blessing to have each other in this.

In a nuclear family setup like that of ours, taking care of a 1.5 year old child is not a child's play. They say it takes a village to bring up a child. During these social distancing times, our village lies in our household. A growing child needs a lot of attention, and with parents working from home, its a dire challenge. To be able to understand that mother is not just responsible for changing the soiled diapers and handling a crying baby, while the father is sitting on the couch hooked to the TV, waiting to play with the child. In our family, the father is as good as the mother :) We have divided our chores and very well manage them along working from home for our full time jobs. This is how we #ShareTheLoad !

When it comes to daily chores, for which we as urban Indians used to be heavily dependent on maids and cooks, relationships are put to test. My husband chops vegetables and I prepare them. I handle the tantrum throwing toddler, his father cleans the utensils. When I clean the house, he does the laundry. This is what brings harmony in the relationship, and you see your fondness for each other grow on knowing well how your better half understands you, and the family needs. At first, you are awed to see each other doing all that they have never done. Being brought up in a cozy environment, where your parents did all the chores while you sat studying, or pursuing your hobbies, and later depending on maids, all this comes as a shock. Gradually you get used to it, and that's how you grow old together. #ShareChoresMultiplyLove is the mantra.

We never know when these unprecedented times would end. Amidst everything gloomy and the earth still rotating on the axis of Corona, a pinch of affinity in the family is much needed.

Don't forget to watch how Ariel motivates us to  #ShareTheLaundry.

I will #ShareTheLoad and help in household chores in association with Ariel India and BlogAdda

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A Pinch of Humour

Meanwhile,  amidst everything serious, and the earth rotating on the axis of Corona, I thought of adding a pinch of humor and wit to our world !

On planet Facebook, some ladies are nonchalantly sharing their "saree clad" pictures. They call it a "challenge".  Really! If that's a challenge, I wonder then how our mothers and grandmothers had been living such challenging lives. They also say, that these pictures are posted to bring smile on their friends' faces in these gloomy times. I awe at how people are doing data entry jobs for free! On a sarcastic note, how do such moronic ideas click to only certain humans. 

Nevertheless, sarcasm is like electricity, half of the country doesn't get it.

Meanwhile, as one of the popular jokes states, people are busy vanishing maida and sooji from the earth, by demonstrating their culinary talent. Opened Whatsapp status this morning to see one of my friends just burped of Biryani, the other posted 5 photos of some ugly looking deep fried snacks and someone just prepared fresh out of oven half baked chocolate cake garnished with Gems.

Looking at the messages on my Whatsapp and Telegram groups, I got a mischievous idea. I clubbed multiple messages together, copied and shuffled them. This created a humorous chain. Read below to gain a smile -

Any good tailor nearby? Hi, we shifted here yesterday, waiting to catch up...

This is ridiculous, some dog pooped in front of the club house?  Please assemble in front of the Club House for flag hoisting.

My son's crocs are missing from the playground. Please suggest some good temples nearby. 

Can someone suggest the nearest gas agency. The flush of my toilet is not working... ?

Someone has parked their car in my parking. Please contact me if someone wants to buy my 2BHK.

The maid Jaymala has not yet arrived. If someone has a spare granite slab, please DM me. 

Please don't feed pigeons in the balcony. The builder has reserved that area for STP.

What are the charges for vegetable chopping every day? It is clearly mentioned in our sale agreement.

I wonder if we are going to emerge alive out of this pandemic. Ever wondered that we never remain satisfied with whatever life gives us. What has come, shall go someday. These times, may be good or bad, your perspective, but shall end someday. And that day, we may miss how staying home was a bliss and not a punishment. Though, a balance is a must, but remember there have been days when we longed for staying back, away from the life's race. 

I read this somewhere, sometime -

वक़्त अच्छा जरुर आता है....

बस कमबख्त वक़्त पर नहीं आता...!!

पल-पल तरसते थे जिस पल के लिए...

वो पल भी आया कुछ पल के लिए...!!

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Your Story...

Each one of us is a walking story. All the stories are entwined with each other. You come across other people's stories for a few chapters. Some rendezvous are brief, some last for chapters. Some chapters are wonderful, some are painful. You will have moments when you just want to turn the pages of certain chapters too fast, and want to read a few of steadily and happily. Some chapters make us cry for weeks, the others fill us with a lifetime of joy. A bad chapter may not be the end of your story. Keep reading!

The beginning of your story is always soothing, carefree! You learn so much about yours and others' stories in the beginning. The words keep pouring in at the beginning of the story. Gradually, you get accustomed to your story. This is how it works. You can't change the end, for it's already engraved in the chapters. You have to soak yourself truly into what you see and feel. Some stories end too soon, whereas some last longer. To make your story famous, you have to read it loud, louder, loudest. Nobody can open a certain page of your life and say they know you. Similarly, you may find someone else's story more interesting and blissful from a distance, you never know what their journey was about!

Moments come and go in the lines of those chapters. Nevertheless, you cannot skip chapters. This is how the circle of life works. You have to read each and every line. You have to meet all the characters. We are villain in someone's story, and angels for the others. Stories keep the earth rotating. Some days there is sunshine, and sometimes just frost spread all over. We have to live it all, for there is no means to jump over to the other chapter. Time goes on at its pace. 

It is you who is living your story. You are the hero in your story, and it is unique in all the ways, just like you. The genre of your story may be humor, adventure, mystery or a history. But it can never be a fiction! Your story can definitely be a legacy for generations to come, if you live it so. You have to leave the traces of your moments to make it an inspiration.

Why not multiply the intensity of happier moments in the pages of your story, and read and re-read it! Heal your bruises and replenish yourself while turning each page of your story.

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कागज़-ए-ख़ाली

मुद्दतों में उठायी कलम हाथों में, 

देख कागज़-ए-ख़ाली हम खो गए,

लफ़्ज़ों के आईने में देख ख़ुदा को,

ख़ुद ही की मौसिकी में मशगूल हो गए,

मन को तराशा बेबाक़ अल्फाज़ो में, 

कांटे भी फूल हो गए,

एक बूंद गिरी स्याही यूँ दवात से,

फिर छिपे सारे राज़ गुफ़्तगू हो गए,

क्यूं ना करें इन पन्नों से बातें,

ये ही है जो रूठा नहीं करते,

स्याही की छाप से जब पन्ना रंग जाता है,

मन से निकला हर लफ़्ज़ कागज़ पर रम जाता है,

बोल उठते हैं शब्द, जब ये कागज़ हवा में फड़फड़ाता है,

इत्मिनान देता है कागज़ का टुकड़ा जब मन भर आता है,

एक कहानी और कहानियों में कई कहानी,

मन की उड़ान की रफ्तार लिख कर है दर्शानी,

दौड़ भाग में रहते व्यस्त करते हर दम काम काज,

छोड़ के ये सब मद मस्त हो जाते हैं आज।

बुनते है आज ग़ज़ल सुहानी या कोई कहानी,

बातें जानी या अनजानी जो है हमें दुनिया को सुनानी।

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फ़ुर्सत

चलिए कागज़ पर कुछ अल्फ़ाज़ लिखते हैं

धरती जो कर रही आराम उस पर साज़ लिखते हैं,

आश्चर्य में पड़ गया विज्ञान,

प्रकृति ने किया वो संग्राम,

आदमी आदमी की मौत का हो रहा कारक है,

घोर कलियुग का ये आग़ाज़ दिखता है,

प्रकृति के प्रक्षालन का ये संयोग सच्चा है,

दूरियां बढ़ने का योग अच्छा है,

देख लो मोबाइल टीवी या अखबार,

प्रवचन का लगा है अम्बार,

हाथ धोएं, किसी को न छुएं, बुखार ना होये,

ख़ुद की बनाई जेल में गुम होये,

जीवन मे नहीं बस सिनेमा, मॉल और पार्टी हॉल,

फुर्सत भरे दिन रात मिलते कहाँ है हाल फिलहाल ,

बच्चों को घर के काम का आनंद सिखलाये,

Playstation और iPad को दूर हटाएं,

क्यूं ना आज अपने शौक फरमाएं,

परिवार में किस्से कहानियों की चौपाल बैठाएं,

अब मौका मिला है तो फायदा उठायें,

कुछ लम्हें अपनों के साथ बिताएं |

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Book Review: The New Rules of Business

Book Name - The New Rules of Business

Author - Rajesh Srivastava

Publication year - 2019

Pages - 326

This book is penned by Rajesh Srivastava who is an IIT and IIM alumnus. The bio of the author is indeed impressive, he has a lot of feathers on his cap. All the knowledge and experience that he has put into the book is amazing. He is an accomplished manager and brand creator.

The book has a very rich content, with each chapter being a different and a new rule of being successful in your business. Each chapter has a guideline presented interestingly, along with real examples and stories. It's not just one story but multiple stories together. Though I am not from a business background, and have received no formal education in business, this book caught my interest. I could think from a consumer perspective and relate to the stories of the businesses. I stand at the other end of the business-consumer flow, but found it all to be captivating. As a customer I never knew how much research and efforts were put in the background to sell a product to me. Moreover, the newer ways of winning customers written in this book are worth knowing and relatable to me now.

The sixteen rules of business are apt and interesting. It helped me dive deeply into what the businesses we admire did to reach where they are. The world is evolving, the customers are changing and hence, to grow a business stale rules may not work. This book gives us a wonderful insight into those rules and ideas.

I am not sure what they teach in MBA programmes worldwide, but definitely can bet that this book sums up such courses practically. This was the first book of its kind that I ever read, but definitely looking forward read more from the author.

I rate this book 4 on 5 and recommend for those who are serious about building and growing their business, and are willing to adapt fresher ways to build it well.

Thanks to Shweta from Glad U Came for sending this book for review. 

(PS: the reviews expressed here are based on my personal reading experience, and do not intend to defame, derate or 

degrade the sale or vice-versa for the book.)

If you are an author and want your book to be reviewed, drop an email at bookreviews@mansiladha.com

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Book Review: How to Be a Likeable Bigot

Book Name - How to Be a Likeable Bigot

Author - Naomi Datta

Publication year - 2019

Pages - 216

Genre - Sarcasm

The book is a collection of essays on vivid topics like workplace, parenthood, technology etc. The satire and humor in the book is exemplary. The essays are highly relatable, neither too lengthy nor too small. The author presents a very witty and bold outlook to something we are or that we come across on a daily basis. What occurs to almost all of us, and is a part and parcel of our existence, generally goes unnoticed. This has been beautifully thought over and captured by the author. This book brings the extra ordinary out of the ordinary!

It is very evident how the amount of patience and iterations on the content eventually got bundled up in the pages of this book. Naomi seems like well read and well referenced author. Lot of knowledge and exposure can only result in such quality content. At the same time, the reader also has to have knowledge to understand the content.

Unlike usual indian authors, Naomi came up with a distinct thought process. She has used good verbiage and vocabulary. The sketches before every chapter are creative and self sufficient to convey the crux of the what you are about to read.

For someone who cannot focus and read through a thick book containing a single story, this book is a right option with separate essays. Each of them are independent of one another and can be read in any order.

The genre is very much relatable to me, not only because each of the chapters is close to my existence, but also because I too write a lot of satirical blog posts on the contemporary world. I also closely observe the regular phenomena and draw my inferences into such satirical write ups. I was actually reading the lines loudly in my mind, with all the pauses and expressions, which made me enjoy this even more!

The content is crisp. You would never be bored of it. Overall it is a refreshing read.

I rate this book 3.5 on 5. I recommend this for those who appreciate and understand satire. Not everyone enjoys being made fun of. This book is not meant for those who read only fiction or philosophy. Consider this as a series of blog posts compiled carefully and presented in a light hearted way.

Thanks to Blogadda for approaching me to review the book.

(PS: the reviews expressed here are based on my personal reading experience, and do not intend to defame, derate or 

degrade the sale or vice-versa for the book.)

If you are an author and want your book to be reviewed, drop an email at bookreviews@mansiladha.com

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Life as 30

CAUTION: The content hereafter may damage your optimism, sanity and immaturity.

Today I proudly and successfully complete 3 decades of my life.

I have reached an age where ideally I should not be too excited about my birthday and consider confining myself to my home, avoid birthday wish calls. I must get rid of answering the recurring question on my birthday plans and not to succumb to the pressure of celebrating the day like other homo sapiens !

But it's okay to think adversely and find my ways to be happy :)

I have also reached an age for which they advertise the anti-ageing creams, and when I end up to a beauty store next time, I must apparently pick up an Olay total effects cream, and hair color may be... Despite this, I still get marriage proposals or get called Santoor Mom.

Much has happened and a much is yet to happen. My identity is a married-engineer-working-mom-part-time-writer. Given all my experiences with this planet so far, I have enough Grandma stories to tell to my unborn grandchildren.

My body is ageing, hair fading, dark circles darkening and mental cache filling. I no more "cross the bridges when I come over them". I have to be prepared for that may come over to me.

"पहले मैं होशियार थी इसलिए दुनिया बदलने चली थी, अब मैं समझदार हूँ इसलिए ख़ुद को बदल रही हूँ"

I am permanently unimpressed by a lot of stuff and unaffected by a lot of occurrences. Advices pour in from all directions, but now my brain knows what to absorb and what to reflect.

One bitter truth of life that I learnt is your friends may not stay with you forever, your family shall. The teenage fantasy of "friendships forever" is a forgotten dream now! One gets back to the family over a course of time.

When we were kids, a broken pencil and a lost eraser were enough to call it a bad day. While growing up, life threw challenges called exams and peer pressure. Once you overcome this, you are made to believe that getting into a good Alma mater will make your life better, and that it is the last problem that you shall have on the earth. False. Getting a job happened to be the next great struggle. Next, fight for high packages and better jobs had to be the real and final challenge by the time you turned 25. When thats fixed, a distant cousin's wedding (who later got divorced), had to result into sleepless nights for your parents and eventually happiness-less days for you. Well, looked like marriage was the ultimate solution to all your problems, but then came the demand of having an offspring because you MUST have one, for all obvious reasons. Ahaa, that doesn't bring an end to the life's challenges, but is the advent of it. Every age and phase of life has its own challenges and fun. 30 years are enough to know and learn this.

Despite the ups and downs, leveraging each moment you are breathing and being thankful for all that you have, is the key to a beautiful life.

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